The Great Wallet Heist of 2018

One year ago, I made a resolution to write in my journal every day for a year. As we approach the end of 2018, I'm happy to say that I truly have not missed a day of writing. Sometimes it's just a sentence, other times it's a list of things I'm grateful for that day, and other times it's an explosive outpouring of emotion regarding some recent occurrence. Regardless of length, style, or subject, I do feel it has been an indispensable method of organizing the thoughts comprising my inner monologue. There are days where that inner monologue feels like it's spinning a bit out of control, and something about the physical act of scratching words onto paper has proven to be quite cathartic. I'd like to continue keeping journals beyond this year, but I also hope to post here more often, so who knows if the daily journaling will continue on the same regularity.

All this being said, let me address the title of this particular entry: "The Great Wallet Heist of 2018". As far as words being used as a coping mechanism for life's various strains and woes, this goes down as a particularly notable case for myself. About a month ago, my wallet was stolen, though it wasn't immediately apparent to me. What followed the initial theft has been documented into a poem, specifically a poem I composed in thanks to my favorite local restaurant. I frequently leave celebratory poems on the backs of my receipts there, usually effusively describing whatever delectable meal I'd eaten that day. But this time was different; for the first time in my life, I ran in desperation to a restaurant as a last ditch effort to turn an absurdly irritating week into a slightly better one. This is the poem they received that gloomy, rainy evening as I stormed into the bar area and demanded a spiked green tea and devo burger:

'Twas the night of November 9th, and all through the town
Some serious shiznit was about to go down
Just a few days before, a new movie had come out
So my friends and I decided to see what it's about

I strolled into the theater with my phone, wallet, keys
And told the dude, "Bohemian Rhapsody, please"
And the movie, I must say, did not let me down
The rest of the night, it was impossible to frown

My friends and I left to go home to our beds
Where visions of Mercury danced in our heads
But the very next day, something was not right
It appeared I had left my wallet last night

So I called the theater, as my stomach turned queasy
But they didn't answer--that'd be too easy
So I drove back to town, to ask and look myself
But it was nowhere to be found, it vanished like an elf

Surely I had it, it was simply misplaced
But it would turn out this was not the case
Three days later, the scum used my card
To buy $900 of stuff at Walmart

Thank god USAA caught it, they're truly my fave
But regardless, my anger started to rage
So I desperately turned to the best place I know
And made a beeline for the righteous SoHo

Because when I've had a less than amazing day
Anna and Jess know to send green tea my way
And no matter my hanger, whatever the reason
Good food like this is always a-pleasin'

You know you'll always have my undying support
Even if I have to buy drinks with my passport
So for ending the hangriness, I must say thank you
I hope my thief steps on a Lego or two.

Or 20.
And I hope they're on fire.